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“The rotting decay of feminism”

Feminism is cancer.

What comes to mind when you hear the word “feminist?” Is it a strong woman who after years of being oppressed by men finally got the guts to break free and stand up to them? Or is it someone who is just simply fighting for equality of the sexes? A Facebook taken survey shows some of the first thoughts- liberal lunatics, perverted causes, trying to prove they are acceptable, superior, vulgar, godless, shameless, prideful, in bondage, angry, not celebrating differences, no peace or joy, insecure, screaming liberals..Sounds like the worst of qualities, right? But the purpose of this post is to walk you through what the majority think feminism is and to make my case that a lot of times the most threatening feminist is not the one in your face screaming obscenities. The most threatening feminist comes from within the church. Feminism is like a rotting, decay that is seeping into every single area of this culture.

According to history books, the 1st wave of feminism began around 1848, with a gathering in Seneca Falls, NY to fight for women’s rights. There was another wave that began around the 1960’s which greatly influenced the views of women’s oppression and roles of women in the family. The 3rd wave is said to have started around the 1990’s and is still continuing, though some argue we are currently in the 4th wave. For the 3rd wave, gender identity and sexuality were a big issue. No longer should women have to identify as soft, gentle, or feminine. Instead they were now proud and defiant. And men became viewed as the oppressor of all women, hence the phrase “toxic masculinity.” Masculinity was now viewed as “harmful” to women.


I would argue that according to Scripture, feminism began much earlier than 1848. We are told that in Genesis 3 as a result of sin and the fall that we would be forever cursed with “wanting to rule over” our husbands. Let’s talk about the two types of feminism that are perpetuating the culture and then we will dig more into Genesis 3. There is “secular feminism” which basically says “I am entitled to compete on an equal basis with men.” Then we have, as some call it, “biblical feminism” which states “ I seek the freedom to follow Christ as He calls me, and to use my gifts however I choose for His kingdom.” For instance, those who say “teaching and preaching have been given to me as gifts from God and though I’m a woman, God would want me to use my gifts.”I want to make the case for my view, that there is no such thing as a “biblical feminist.” The two words used together are an oxymoron.


I think any church going evangelical would deny that secular feminism is an issue within their local church. They would agree that men and women are different, have different roles and hold to the “Complementarianism” view. This view states that men and women have different roles that compliment each other when it comes to all areas such as the home, church, or family. Women are precluded from certain roles that require leadership over men. Men have a headship role, women have a support role. While many claim to have this view, they now have muddied the line as to what is an acceptable role for women in the church. The typical evangelical pictures a feminist as a typical man hating, female with an extreme liberal agenda who goes around and fights against men and for the right to abort her own children.

But as I will point out, the second kind of feminism mentioned is a much more imminent threat to Christians. There is a group of women who won’t be out fighting to participate in male sports or events. They aren’t out taking over the work place. But they are attempting to twist the Scripture to allow room for their “biblical feminism.” These types of women exist and are all throughout the church. Recently in a discussion on social media, the passage in 1 Timothy 2:12 was brought up. Paul says “I do not permit a woman to teach or exercise authority over a man, rather she is to remain quiet.” Paul is forbidding all women from filling the role of pastor or teacher over men or exercising any authority over men in the church assembly. When this passage was brought up in the discussion, the woman commented “Well, that was just a cultural standard for that time” and secondly she stated “We shouldn’t limit God or put Him in a box because He can use whoever He wants to speak for Him.” Technically God can do whatever He wants according to Psalm 115:3-“But our God is in the heavens; He does whatever He pleases.” However, God will not at any time contradict His Written Word.

How do we know that the standard set in 1 Timothy 2:12 wasn’t just cultural or geographical? We have to look at other passages. In 1 Corinthians 14:33-35 the very same commandment is laid out- “As in all the congregations of the saints, women should remain silent in the churches. They are not allowed to speak, but must be in submission, as the Law says. If they want to inquire about something, they should ask their own husbands at home; for it is disgraceful for a woman to speak in the church.” There is something new added to the beginning of that passage which is the statement “As in all the congregations.” This clearly implies that this is not a cultural standard but is God’s standard that was put in place for ALL of the churches or ALL of the congregations.


I’ve also heard Galatians 3:28 used to advocate that women can fill whatever role they desire in the church. “There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” To argue that this verse does away with God given roles of headship and submission is ludicrous. This verse is telling believers that there is no “spiritual inequality” with God, we are all one in Christ Jesus if we have been redeemed by His blood. No where does this verse state that the God ordained roles of male leadership within the church and home have been done away with. The fact is, that over and over again, the Word of God lays out a pattern of male spiritual leadership and female submission. So many churches, however, are trying to imitate satan in the garden of Eden when he said to Eve about the forbidden fruit “Did God really say?”..



So many so called “Christians” and church leaders are trying to incorporate feminism and women leadership roles into the church. The rotting decay of feminism has no longer been content with staying in the secular realm, it’s now seeping into the church, yes, even the ultra-conservative Southern Baptist churches. One example is last year, Brentwood Baptist Church, a Southern Baptist megachurch, ordained a woman to the pastorate. https://pulpitandpen.org/2019/02/17/southern-baptist-megachurch-ordains-female-pastor/ It was reported that they changed the ordination announcement from “pastor” to “minister” after some of the members complained. The woman was ordained at the church and given a pastoral position over men as “minister to senior adults.” Do the research and you will quickly find out that there is a rapidly spreading movement amongst churches to ordain women and allow them to teach men. Just check out this video of Southern Baptist darling Beth Moore preaching on a Sunday morning from the pulpit at Transformation church- https://youtu.be/MCIRf1S6cr0

Continue reading ““The rotting decay of feminism””
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 Why do we say no more babies? 

This is the post excerpt.

  1. “Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb; a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them. He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies at the gate.” Psalm 127:3-5                                                                                All throughout Scripture you can look and see one common theme about children, they are a reward and a blessing from God. This passage in Psalms mentioned above gives us a view into how we as Christians are to view children and child bearing. We would never tell the Lord “please, stop you are blessing me with way too much money!” Or “please Lord, do not give me one more friend, I’ve just got too many!” We never tell the Lord to stop blessing us except for in the area of our womb! So that beckons the question, do you really view children as a reward and blessing? If we do, we would want as many blessings as He would give us. Why would anyone choose to cut off blessings that are straight from the hand of God? The reward of the womb? We have to be willing to look at this from a biblical perspective. There are three main reasons I see that are causing women to say no more babies-                                                        1) It represents a total denial of self. “I just want to travel more.” ” I want more sleep,” “I just want 5 minutes in the bathroom alone.” Children will ultimately consume all our time. We will have to die to our self and the things we want to do in order to raise godly children. It is no longer about us. We sacrifice hours of being up at night, nursing babies, bandaging boo boo’s, cooking meals and preparing snacks, changing their diapers and wiping runny noses. There will be little or no time to indulge ourselves or let our flesh do what it wants to do. But this is the ultimate picture of Christianity. We must take up our crosses and daily die to ourselves and follow Him. (Matthew 16:24) We must die to ourselves. Our purpose is now to raise up godly children that love Him and His Word. We are a picture to the outside world of what that looks like through bearing children. Raising children will be the hardest thing you will ever do, but as the Scripture says, they are that most rewarding thing and they are a gift of God. Now most upon hearing the term “die to self” will cringe. It is in our flesh to not want to die. That represents something we do not want. But if we are going to follow Christ we must be willing to do so in every area, including his plan of how many children we have.                                                         2) The second reason is because it represents putting all your trust and faith in Him in every area. This is a difficult thing to do. But what does the Scripture say? “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding;in ALL your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5-6 How many of us really trust Him in the area of childbearing? How about this statement -“I just can’t afford to have anymore” How much trust in the Lord is in that statement? Are you really saying that you don’t trust the Lord to take care of you if he chooses to sovereignly open your womb? Or what about those who say “I just can’t handle anymore.” Why not? Maybe your flesh feels overwhelmed at times but do you really think the Lord will not give you the strength to raise anymore children? Can not the sovereign God of the universe, the maker of heaven and earth, sustain you and give you everything you need to raise the children He decides to bless you with? Or what about those who say “my health is just too bad to go through another pregnancy. I have really tough pregnancies.” Well how do you know that it’s not God’s will for you to suffer in that way? Maybe God wants to bring glory to Himself by showing you and others that He can do the impossible and safely bring you through another pregnancy, despite how miserable they make you feel. You could choose to be a living testimony and say “yes, I have awful pregnancies but I trust the Lord and if he chooses to open my womb then He will take care of it and use it for His glory whatever the outcome. You see, it requires putting full trust in Him and entrusting our very body and womb to Him. We might say “Lord I feel overwhelmed, but I trust you if you decide to open my womb and I trust you to physically give me the strength I need to be a mother.”                                                                         3) It represents many hardships and trials. The more children you have, the more worry will be present. As a parent we all worry about our children. Will they grow up to know and love the Lord? Will they choose a godly spouse? Or when they reach the driving years our main concerm will be “are they safe? ” There are many things we could sit and worry about. There will be many discipline issues along the way as they become independent and their flesh will desire to have its own way. There are the teenage years to think about, the dating, the rebellious middle schooler,  the tenascious three’s, etc.  It is no easy task raising children. There will be blood, sweat and many tears. But the more you sacrifice the more become like Christ. You will learn to lean on Him through every situation. You will literally learn that you cannot parent without Him. You will need that time in the Word or you can’t make it through the day. You need that time in prayer to ask Him to give you patience and to help you to be a godly example. You will rely on Him more fully to give you the strength to be both a wife and a mother. You learn to go to Him for for everything you struggle with in parenting and He becomes your greatest peace and strength throughout your parenting journey. So all of these things that parenting brings to you- denial of self, sacrifice, absolute trust, dependency on Him, those are all godly qualities. The more children you have the more you will possess these qualities. Please seek the Scripture about all these things! Let the Lord have control of every area in your life including your childbearing and you will find riches and  rewards that cannot be described! 

Help for a struggling marriage

Recently I saw an image on social media that said this-

But is that true? Because I’m of the mindset that they would still leave. The reason behind this is due to one problem- sin. The Bible tells us that “our hearts are deceitful and desperately wicked” (Jeremiah 17:9) so it can and will convince us that our spouse is not treating us like we want them to treat us. Our hearts will also convince us that our spouse is the problem in the relationship when it may very well lie within us. At the very least we contribute to the issues in some way. But our hearts like to deceive us by placing the blame on the other person.

There are so many around me struggling in their marriages and I’ve been blessed to counsel some. I myself suffered in my marriage and I remember feeling alone and not knowing what to do. I’d like to share some biblical advice to help you that I’ve learned along the way when going through the valleys of marriage.

  1. Recognize you are being deceived. Satan is the master of all deceit and lies. He is a manipulator and is skilled at convincing spouses that the grass is greener on the other side. I recently saw a story where a woman left her husband of 20 years for a man she had know for a few weeks on social media only to find out the guy was no longer interested. These are the kinds of scams Satan loves to get you with. Satan will have you believe that “you deserve better.”

    Your spouse is a sinner just like you so there are real problems that need to be addressed. But if he can get you fixated in your mind on all of your spouses flaws, then he’s gotten his foot in the door and is well on his way to destroying the marriage. No one wakes up one day and says “I think I’ll divorce my spouse today.” What happens is cracks develop over the years and spouse began to grow cold and distant towards the other.

    This is why it’s so important to renew your mind in the Scripture daily. So that the Lord can give you wisdom regarding your marriage and enable you “take every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ..” 2 Corinthians 10:5 Recognizing that you are under some level of deception is key. John Owen says “there was no sin followed after except where deceit went before it.”
    If we do not acknowledge our heart’s deceit, we will begin excusing our own sins and placing the blame on our spouse. Hebrews 3:13 gives us a dire warning about becoming hardened once we have allowed deceit to creep in- “..so that none of you will become hardened by the deceitfulness of sin.”
  2. Recognize your own sins against your spouse.
    I taught my ladies class last week out of John Flavel’s “Keeping the heart” and this is the very practice he talks about-examining oneself and one’s heart. This heart work is so incredibly necessary to live in a godly way in your marriage. Ask the Lord to search you and show you any “evil way in you” as David prays in Psalm 139:23.
    Whether it is building up a bitterness or resentment towards your spouse or developing a coldness towards them, the Lord will reveal this to you.
    I remember at one point being so eaten up with my husband’s shortcomings that I almost grew to despise my husband. My heart was so hardened towards him and I continued on in sin and neglecting the Word and prayer. It took months before the Lord broke me and I repented in tears and asked the Lord to soften my heart towards my husband and love him in a Christlike way. He did answer my prayers.

    Maybe you’re a Christian who is married to an unbeliever and struggling with that? Maybe you’ve become weary and are no longer treating your spouse with love and kindness? 1 Peter 3:1-2 tells us this- “In the same way, you wives, be subject to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the Word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, as they observe your pure conduct without fear.”
    Wives are to be pure and respectful to their husbands despite how the husband is living- even if he is disobedient to the Word and the Lord may very well use that to bring them to Christ.
  3. Beg the Lord to revive your marriage and cultivate a daily quiet time with the Lord.
    Sometimes God doesn’t change our spouse, He changes us. He enables us to love in a sacrificial way despite the fact our spouse is not meeting our needs. If you have been praying, be patient. The Lord may be working on your heart and the time has not yet come to restore the marriage. Constantly ask the Lord to give you a love for your spouse and a servant heart. Do not neglect your prayer life during these valleys. This suffering is meant to drive you to Christ. Beg God to intervene in your marriage and trust Him to do so.
    Notice that none of these steps include nagging your spouse to change. Only the Lord changes hearts and revives marriages. Now there may be times we need to go to our spouse in love and lay out our concerns and issues. But we go kindly, and in love, not giving threats or ultimatums. Use the Scripture to make your case and go admitting your own sin and where you have failed in the marriage.
    As Voddie Baucham said “it’s not happily ever after but repentance ever after.”
    Learning to ask for forgiveness and repenting should be a regular occurrence in our marriages.

    Remember that we are to be an earthly picture of Christ and His bride- the church.
    Does He grow angry and abandon us? No.
    Does He ever leave us when we sin or are unfaithful? No.
    Does He ever refuse to listen to our pleas and cries or give us the silent treatment? No.
    “If we are faithless, He remains faithful, for He cannot deny Himself.” 2 Timothy 2:13
    Let us trust in our faithful Savior to strengthen our marriages and allow us to glorify Him by remaining in our covenant!

Is God’s will ever at odds with His desires?

This topic has fascinated me for quite some time now. And most people who I talk to seem to think that God’s desires are trumped by His will. The scenario is this- God desires all men to be saved but He doesn’t save all because it is not His will to save all. So then we have a God who is seemingly divided or at odds with Himself. He wants one thing but does another. This doesn’t sound like the God of Scripture who “is in the heavens and does what He pleases.” (Psalm 115:3) but I realize this is such a multi-faceted topic and that 1 Timothy 2:4 presents a dilemma-“who wants all people to be saved and to come to the [a]knowledge of the truth.”

From the surface this looks hard to understand from a human perspective. So I want to flesh this out a bit and look at some varying view points.

John Piper believes there are two wills of God saying this on the topic-“ So God wills that all be saved, but in another sense, he does not will that all be saved. One of these inclinations is a real expression of compassion, and the other is a real expression of sovereign wisdom and the freedom of grace.
That willing in God, that desiring in God, is real. The fact that there are two wills in God points to a profound but complex unity in revealing aspects of God’s nature that are both true and both real. In our own experience, we may feel them as conflicting or as frustrating, but I think it would be rash to say that God experiences his compassion and the justice of his wrath that way. They are harmonious in God. He reveals them both to us so that we can get some true glimpse of what God is really like.”

John MacArthur words it by saying that “God’s saving purposes transcend His desires” saying this- “Obviously, in some inscrutable sense, God’s desire for the world’s salvation is different from His eternal saving purpose. We can understand this to some degree from a human perspective; after all, our purposes frequently differ from our desires. We may desire, for example, to spend a day at leisure, yet a higher purpose compels us to go to work instead. Similarly, God’s saving purposes transcend His desires. (There is a crucial difference, of course: We might be compelled by circumstances beyond our control to choose what we do not desire. But God’s choices are determined by nothing other than His own sovereign, eternal purpose). God genuinely desires all men to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth. Yet in “the eternal purpose which He carried out in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Eph. 3:11), He chose only the elect “out of the world” (John 17:6), and passed over the rest, leaving them to the damning consequences of their sin (cf.Rom. 1:18–32).

In a blog on the topic by Clint Archer that I came across online, he explained it like this- “God has more than one desire and some desires are higher than others.

We all experience this ourselves: I desire my kids to be happy, but my higher desire is for them to be safe. So, even though they are happier when they eat Cheetos and cake all day and sit without a seatbelt in the car, my higher desire for their well-being means I enforce that they eat their broccoli, use a seatbelt. Likewise, you may desire to play golf all day but your higher desire is to remain employed…and married. We all have expressed desires that we overrule for a greater purpose we desire more.

In the same way, God desires all people to know the truth and be saved. But his higher desire is to put all aspects of his variegated glory on display, including his justice, wrath, holiness, and mercy. This is Paul’s hard-to-swallow answer in Romans 9:20-23, that God makes “vessels of wrath prepared for destruction.”

It is still accurate to say that God desires all to be saved.”

1 Timothy 2:4 seems to be a difficult passage when we discuss this topic and many try to paint a picture of God desiring “ALL men” to be saved but Luther seemed to be pretty cut and dry that it did not mean all men- “God desires all men to be saved” (1 Tim. 2:4), and He gave His Son for us men and created man for eternal life. Likewise: All things exist for man, and he himself exists for God that he may enjoy Him, etc.39 These points and others like them can be refuted as easily as the first one. For these verses must always be understood as pertaining to the elect only, as the apostle says in 2 Tim. 2:10 “everything for the sake of the elect.” For in an absolute sense Christ did not die for all, because He says: “This is My blood which is poured out for you” and “for many”—He does not say: for all—“for the forgiveness of sins” (Mark 14:24, Matt 26:28) (Luther’s Works Volume 25.376)

And Calvin in his commentary on 1 Timothy says this- “But I say nothing on that subject, because it has nothing to do with this passage; for the Apostle simply means, that there is no people and no rank in the world that is excluded from salvation; because God wishes that the gospel should be proclaimed to all without exception. Now the preaching of the gospel gives life; and hence he justly concludes that God invites all equally to partake salvation. But the present discourse relates to classes of men, and not to individual persons; for his sole object is, to include in this number princes and foreign nations.” (John Calvin’s Commentary 1 Timothy)

Also, John Owen argues the “All” in 1 Timothy isn’t meaning all men but all types- Owen argues that in the case of 1 Timothy-

“after he hath enjoined us to pray for all, because the Lord will have all to be saved, he expressly intimates that by all men he understandeth men of all sorts, ranks, conditions, and orders, by distributing those all into several kinds, expressly mentioning some of them, as “kings and all in authority.”

So based on the interpretation of this passage from these reformed theologians, I would choose to say I don’t fall into either camp- saying God has multiple wills and or that His purposes trump His desires. I believe it’s based on a faulty interpretation/understanding of 1 Timothy 2. With a proper understanding there would be no difficulty in stating that God’s will and His desires are one. He does not save all because He does not desire to save all. He purposes to save the elect because that is what He desires to do. This topic will usually lead you down the road of discussing God’s secretive will vs. His revealed will. However, we won’t veer off on those two points in this blog for time’s sake.

To sum up my view point, I whole heartedly believe that God’s will and His desires do NOT conflict with each other. I believe He saves who He wants to save. I can say this and still hold to the truth of the fact that “God takes no pleasure in the death of the wicked.” However, He must will to punish them or else they wouldn’t be punished. I’m probably in the minority here but I believe a God whose will and desires diverge at some point paints a picture of a conflicted God. A God who would be frustrated because He could not carry out what He desires. I believe we have to study these passages in depth and make sure we aren’t walking away with an understanding of God that is skewed and not in line with who He says He is. A God whose purposes always succeed. We are told in His Word “no purpose of yours can be thwarted.” Job 42:2 And a God whose desires will be carried out- “Whatever the LORD pleases He does, In heaven and in earth, In the seas and in all deep places.” Or how about Romans 9:18- ” 18 So then He has mercy on whom He desires, and He hardens whom He desires.“

At the very least I pray this blog will stir up in you a desire to begin your own study into these deep truths about God and dig into His Word. May the Lord guide you and grant you understanding. Much love in Christ!

The cry of a convicted sinner

This morning’s reading of The valley of vision really got me. The title is literally perfect as to what all Christian’s prayers are- the cries of a convicted sinner. All we can do is mutter “I am unworthy” when we come before Him. Hope this prayer from the puritans edifies you like it did me.

THOU RIGHTEOUS AND HOLY SOVEREIGN,

In whose hand is my life and whose are all

my ways,

Keep me from fluttering about religion;

fix me firm in it, for I am irresolute;

my decisions are smoke and vapour, and I do not glorify thee, or behave according to thy will;

Cut me not off before my thoughts grow to responses,

and the budding of my soul into full flower, for thou art forbearing and good, patient and kind.

Save me from myself,

from the artifices and deceits of sin, from the treachery of my perverse nature, from denying thy charge against my offences, from a life of continual rebellion against thee, from wrong principles, views, and ends;

for I know that all my thoughts, affections, desires and pursuits are alienated from thee.

I have acted as if I hated thee, although thou art love itself;

have contrived to tempt thee to the uttermost, to wear out thy patience;

have lived evilly in word and action.

Had I been a prince

I would long ago have crushed such a rebel;

Had I been a father

I would long since have rejected my child.

O, thou Father of my spirit, thou King of my life, cast me not into destruction, drive me not from thy presence,

but wound my heart that it may be healed; break it that thine own hand may make it whole.

A late 2024 update

Last year I sent out a blog that doubled as my Christmas card and family update. A little late this year but as the saying goes “better late than never.” There actually is never a dull moment here with five children and we have had an incredibly busy but productive year.

My oldest, Elliana Reese, whom we just call “El” is turning 16 in a few weeks and is getting her driver’s license. She is an absolute beast on the volleyball court and dominates every game. The Lord has blessed her incredibly with athletic ability. She still does her little farm with all of the chickens and goats and brought home several awards from the fair this year. She is also continuing to grow in spiritual maturity which is the greatest blessing to see.

My second oldest child, Emmie Jane, whom we just call “Em” turns 14 this week! She is my creative artist, my book reader, and my strong minded child. She also has an incredible defensive skill on the volleyball court and has gained new confidence on her homeschool volleyball team. She also demonstrates a great deal of spiritual maturity and fruit. We had a traumatic event in October where she passed out and lost consciousness for over an hour and had to be rushed via ambulance to the hospital. We’ve not gotten any answers despite numerous Dr appointments and neurology tests. She has had several similar episodes since then but without fainting so please pray the Lord will guide us in finding out what’s wrong. Despite all of this, I’m grateful for the extra alone time it has given me with her sitting in all of the Dr offices.


Elynne mercy, whom we call “E” or “Bitty” is turning 12 in less than 2 weeks and is in the 6th grade this year. She is the middle child and the glue of the family. Goofy and always happy, she always has friends around. She also played volleyball this year for the first time and did so well for her team. She has shown a new interest in cooking and baking and I’m excited that one of my children may share my love of being in the kitchen. While she has not made a profession of faith, she has been asking lots of questions about what it means to be saved and repent and we are hopeful the Lord is drawing her.


Everlee Hope who goes by “Ev”turned 9 this year! She also was a star player on her volleyball team and they quickly made her the team libero. (defensive specialist) She is doing so well in the 3rd grade and is still a little chatty bundle of energy. She is on the petite side but doesn’t have the small personality to match. Sensitive to spiritual things but has not made a profession of faith yet.


Ezra Gabriel who we call “Ez” turned 7 in December. Hard to believe my baby is that old! He’s turning into a real outdoorsman. Got his first gun, fishing pole, and four wheeler. Loves to be outside. Went hunting with his dad and helped him find and gut a deer. He’s an amazing addition to our family of girls and proves everyday how different boys are than girls.

Kevin picked back up his old hobby of deer hunting and got two bucks this year! Lots of meat in the freezer. Celebrated our 17th year of marriage and 6th year at Macon Road Baptist.

Screenshot
Me on top of the Bass Pro pyramid Memphis in August

I’m still teaching my women’s Sunday school class and homeschooling all 5 kiddos so I stay super busy. Always in my kitchen, out on a long run, soaking up the Word or reading a theology book. I signed up for a 50k trail race in March so I’ve got lots of training to do between now and then.

I’ll end with some family photos from the 2024 year. All to Christ we owe for His grace on our family and all the blessings He has bestowed!





















The devil and his deceitful diamonds

From the earliest days that I was sealed in Christ, he began coming in subtle ways,

He knew he couldn’t have all of me but he kept coming, knowing a part of me was left to betray,

He began to tempt me with so many traps, and for so many occasions cause my senses to lapse,

presenting each temptation as a jewel to be had, each one painted beautiful and containing nothing bad,

the largest of the jewels was the diamond of pride, what a prize, these feelings always lurking inside,

take hold of this jewel he said, You deserve this, he whispered in my head,

Don’t you want the world’s approval and applause? He kept repeating without a stop or a pause,

Next was the ruby red gem of envy and lust, presented as a prize that would never fade or rust,

Turn your eyes upon these things of the world, these sensual pleasures,

they will give you so much happiness, they are absolute treasures,

This jewel was so enticing to my eye, presented as something I needed, something within reach, maybe something I could buy,

Longing for things that weren’t mine was so easy to do,

Surely God wanted me happy, this had to be true,

Third he offered me the sapphire of distraction and without a doubt, surely this was something I could not live without,

You need to stay busy, devote yourself to many things, there’s no time for Scripture or the comfort that it brings,

This was often disguised in the shape of a good intention, just one click on a phone, now your time has gone by, your day is completely blown,

Just one minute won’t hurt, just a second if your time, just a few secular pursuits, surely that’s not a crime,

The last jewel he offered was the emerald of self pity and love of self,

This one was truly prized and shone brightly on the top shelf,


You’re treated so poorly, no one understands, think upon these things,

Contemplate your worth, crave attention and the contentment that it brings,

Look at how many friends the others have, look at how they have it all, don’t you want some of that and feel so very small?

All of these jewels were so enticing, they were pulling me in, I wanted all of these pleasures, I could no longer pretend,

So I reached out and I pulled them in, I gave in to my fleshly sin,

Then when I had them in my grasp, I looked closer to see, These were not the shimmering jewels he had painted them to be,

They were rotting fruit with worms, smelly and black, They offered me fleeting happiness before I saw the crack,

I wasn’t happy or fulfilled, I was hungrier and lacking peace, what had been painted as a treat had been nothing but cruel deceit,

My soul felt empty and less content,

was it too late?! Could I still repent?

Finding the pages of pure gold awakened my eyes to the plot, I had fallen, been tricked,

My sin laid out before me like one big, dark blot,

With new determination I began to fight, I resisted those traps painted as jewels of allure,

I knew He could help me, with Him I’d endure,

This old devil so cunning would never leave me alone, but I now knew victory belonged to the one on the throne,

So I fought and daily I fight, When he comes with those jewels I say “remember not to believe”,

he is only here to destroy, to kill you, to deceive,

Marching forward I persist in truth, His Word, His traps will not catch me, they seem absurd,

May my eyes be always enlightened and clear, May I always seem Satan’s traps as they really appear,

Victory is mine in Christ my King,

Victory in Jesus forever I’ll sing!

“Submit therefore to God. But [a]resist the devil, and he will flee from you.” James 4:7

Your wife is not the boss

In a world where many men claim to be an alpha, few actually are. Few actually stand up to their wives and say “No.” You hear comments almost daily from men around you who when asked something say “let me ask the boss” referring to their wife. I’ve heard it in secular settings but even more surprisingly I hear it in church settings. Recently I clicked on an Instagram video the other day interviewing men and asking the their secret to a long and fulfilling marriage. All of the men said the same thing of their wives to “just do whatever she says.” Is that really the secret to marriage? It may be the secret to a long marriage because as long as the woman is getting her way she’ll stick around. But it is most definitely not the secret to a fulfilling marriage or one that is honoring to Christ. Besides the fact that these men despite being described as “a man’s man” due to their muscular appearance, they’ve actually demonstrated that they have no back bone and more importantly structure their marriage in a way that is completely antithetical to the Scripture. So what does the Scripture teach us regarding a woman’s place? Let’s examine a few passages and why men should NEVER even jokingly refer to their wives as “the boss.”

We are told in Scripture that from the very beginning woman was made for man, not man for woman. Why is that significant? In 1 Timothy 2, Paul instructs women on how to dress and behave and says this is verse 11-15- A woman must quietly receive instruction with entire submissiveness. 12 But I do not allow a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man, but to remain quiet. 13 For it was Adam who was first [h]created, and then Eve. 14 And it was not Adam who was deceived, but the woman was [i]deceived and [j]became a wrongdoer. 15 But [k]women will be [l]preserved through [m]childbirth—if they continue in faith, love, and sanctity, with moderation.“ (for more info on women being saved through child bearing see my blog “are women saved through child bearing?”)

A woman in church and under the authority of male headship must “receive instruction with entire submissiveness.” She is not allowed to teach or exercise authority over men and is to remain quiet. Then we are told that it is not because of the fall that this submissive role came into existence, but rather “God established her role as part of His original creation. God made woman after man to be his suitable helper (Genesis 2:18, 1 Corinthians 11:8,9) By nature, Eve was not suited to assume the position of ultimate responsibility. Furthermore, by leaving Adam’s protection and usurping his headship, she was vulnerable and fell, thus confirming how important it was to stay under the protection and leadership of her husband.” -John MacArthur

So you see, according to Scripture, women are told to “remain quiet” and not to usurp authority over any men in the corporation worship setting. But you may say “well, that’s just at church. My husband and I are equals at home.” Don’t worry, the Scripture gives us further instruction regarding wives and their husbands. Ephesians 5:22-24 tells us this-

22 Wives, subject yourselves to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. 24 But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.”

My John MacArthur commentary says this- Scripture unequivocally lays out the woman’s role as being the subordinate role.” Men who call their wives the boss are either attempting to be funny and fail or are actually diametrically opposed to having a biblical marriage and instead choose to have one where the wife leads. The man was from creation “the boss” and if you as a woman don’t like being the subordinate, take that up with God. This was God’s design and it was done for our protection. You are under the headship of your father until you marry and then are under your husband’s leadership. Instead of this truth ruffling our feathers, it should be of great comfort to us. We don’t have to make the important decisions, provide, or protect. God gave that very important responsibility to the men. How gracious He is!

Men should absolutely stop joking around about this and women should stop supporting these kinds of sayings. Being a biblical wife means dying to yourself and your desire to usurp your husband’s authority and attempt to lead your family. It requires the Holy Spirit to change a woman’s heart and give her this ability to submit. Being submissive to your husband is absolutely essential to obeying Christ with your whole heart. The closer to Christ you are, the more you want to follow your husband’s leadership. Let us pray daily to have this kind of attitude!

The Steve Lawson scandal


As many of you already know, Pastor at Trinity Bible church in Dallas and president of Onepassion ministries Steve Lawson, has been removed from his church due to an “inappropriate relationship” with a woman in her 20’s that has apparently gone on for 5 plus years. There was said to not have been any “physical intimacy” but was definitely classified as having “adulterous undertones.” I’m not here today to shame Lawson or attack him like some kind of discernment blogger who at the first scent of blood comes out like a wolf to devour someone’s ministry and social standing. My prayer is this leads to a self examination as it has done me.

I have always been a Lawson fan. I heard him speak at g3 last year and have listened to countless number of his sermons. He was a big part of the reformed Baptist circles I was in. He was truly gifted at exposition of the Word and from what I know was a likable and caring guy. I am truly saddened by his public fall and the suffering that his congregation must be going through after all of this came to light. It has been on my mind all week and I’ve been pondering all the possible scenarios as to how this happened. Was he truly born again and loved the Lord he just got caught up and overtime became desensitized to it all? Or was he a master deceiver who himself was deceived and made it his job to deceive others? I want to hope it’s the first. James white made a good statement when he said it’s hard to walk in the middle on this. One side says burn every book he’s ever written and wipe the internet clear of his sermons and name, the other is overly sympathetic and is likening him to David who also fell and was a “man after God’s own heart.”

In searching the Scriptures the past week, I came to John 10:10.

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came so that they would have life, and [a]have it abundantly.”

Now we know Satan can’t actually physically destroy those of us who belong to Christ but looking at the various definitions for the word used there I discovered that the Greek word for destroy used there is apollumi and means to “render useless.” Wow. So Satan couldn’t destroy Steve Lawson in a physical sense, but did he render him useless? Absolutely. Did he kill his ministry? Absolutely. Did he steal his ability to live a blameless life and be able to share his solid testimony about Christ and have an impact on a vast amount of listeners? Absolutely. God permitted Satan to do these things. But here’s the thing. It could happen to any one of us. Not that all of us have a very public ministry with that much on the line, but we all have a testimony at stake.

Any one of us are capable of the exact same sins. As John Owen put it “the seed of every sin is in the heart of every man.” This is where we talk about God’s restraining grace. Thomas Watson says this in his book “All things for good” regarding sin- What is in other men’s practice is in our nature. Sin in the wicked is like a fire on the beacon, that flames and blazes forth, sin in the godly us like fire in the members, it is contained. Christian, though you do not break forth into a flame of scandal, you have no cause to boast, for there is much sin raked up in the embers of your nature. You have the root of bitterness and evil in you and would bear as much hellish fruit as any if God did not curb you by His power and change you by His grace.”

The Lord has been teaching me so much about my own depravity and if He were to leave me alone there is no limit to what my evil heart would do. I have a constant dependency on Him and often beg Him for His restraining grace in my life. The only reason we have not gone up into a flame of scandal is only due to Him and His restraint. Period.

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A quote from a recent blog I read said this- “You didn’t give in to temptations not because you are disciplined and godly. It was all the grace of God at work in your life.

Does that discount and discredit our efforts towards godliness. No, it doesn’t. But even those efforts are all the grace of God at work in our life. Philippians 4:12 calls on us to work out our salvation with fear and

trembling. Then it goes on to tell us in v.13 that it is God who works in us both to will

and to do of his good pleasure.”

Jonathan Edwards says this on restraining grace- If we have seen others do things that we never did; and if they have done worse than we, this is owing to restraining grace.

“If we have not done as bad as Pharaoh, it is owing to divine restraints. If we have not done as bad as Judas, or as the scribes and Pharisees, or as bad as Herod, or Simon Magus, it is because God has restrained our corruption. If we have ever heard or read of any that have done worse than we; if we have not gone the length in sinning, that the most wicked pirates or carnal persecutors have gone, this is owing to restraining grace.”

The way that Christians get caught up in sin is the same way non-Christians do, Satan lays a trap. He uses our own lusts and desires as the bait. You’d think eventually we’d be immune to his traps but that’s not the case. We continue to fall for them because of the deceptive nature of sin and the deceptive nature of our own hearts. I found this quote from Erwin Lutzer and found it to be spot on-

“People are prone to overlook their deeply embedded sin because it has an extremely deceptive nature. There exists an interesting correlation between a person’s involvement with sin and his awareness of it. The more a person becomes involved in sin, the less he sees it. Sin is a hideous disease that destroys a person’s ability to comprehend its existence. It could be compared to a computer virus that has the ability to hide its presence from the user while it systematically destroys the hard drive. Typically, those who are the most entangled in are the very ones who cannot see its presence at work inside them. Sin has the ability to mask itself so well that it can actually make a person who deals with it the least, think he is the most spiritual.” In a quote from a blog I wrote on sin I say this- Satan doesn’t come to us and say “Hey, go commit adultery today” or “Let’s go murder this person.” It begins with a few “harmless thoughts.” He starts little by little drawing your affections away from the Lord and stirring up desires where they shouldn’t be. Causing you to rationalize sin, because after all they are just thoughts. Every sin for a believer starts out as a thought and then we have a choice. Take that thought captive and make it obedient to Christ or dwell on it and allow it to grow until we are led into the next phase of acting on it. Unless we pray and preach Scripture to our hearts, and nip it in the bud immediately, we are setting ourselves up for failure. Sin has a weird way of making you rationalize things that you once thought were abominations. That’s the deceptive nature of it. You even begin to vindicate yourself in your mind. Making it seem like what your are thinking or doing is not so bad.

Sin will always “present itself in another dress” as John Owen says. We see a perfect example of the deception of sin after Nathan the prophet come to David in 2 Samuel 12:1-4-

Then the Lord sent Nathan to David. And he came to him and [a]said,

“There were two men in a city, the one wealthy and the other poor.
The wealthy man had a great many flocks and herds.
But the poor man had nothing at all except one little ewe lamb
Which he bought and nurtured;
And it grew up together with him and his children.
It would eat [b]scraps from him and drink from his cup and lie [c]in his lap,
And was like a daughter to him.
Now a visitor came to the wealthy man,
And he could not bring himself to take any animal from his own flock or his own herd,
To prepare for the traveler who had come to him;
So he took the poor man’s ewe lamb and prepared it for the man who had come to him.”

And then David responds in vs 5-7-

“Then David’s anger burned greatly against the man, and he said to Nathan, “As the Lord lives, the man who has done this certainly [d]deserves to die! So he must make restitution for the lamb four times over, since he did this thing and [e]had no compassion.”

Nathan then said to David, “You yourself are the man!..” David was so deceived by his own sin that he couldn’t even recognize he was the one in the story. It was him who had done this terrible thing with Uriah and Bathsheba. David had to be confronted and even then was blinded by his own sin. This is the ultimate deception and how sin works everytime, hiding the consequences and presenting it not as it truly is.

All of this has led me to a great deal of self examination and resolve to devote myself to the Word and obeying Christ. I’m aware of my own frailty. I’m aware that Satan wants to destroy me, my testimony, my marriage, my ministry. I’m aware of my own evil heart and desires. This causes me to cry out to the Lord for restraining grace and protection against Satan’s many trappings. I pray this fall from Lawson within our midst causes us all to do the same and that we pray for Lawson and all who were under his care. We truly are dependent upon Christ for all things and we know our only hope in the fight against sin and temptation lies in the Word of God.

Thy word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against thee (Psalm 119:11).

I have refrained my feet from every evil way, that I might keep thy word. (Psalm 119:101)

Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path (Psalm 119:105)

1 Corinthians 10:13:  No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it.

“How can a young man keep his way pure? By keeping it according to Your word.” Psalm 119:9

He is altogether lovely

Think about the most admirable qualities you like in other people. As Henry Scougal puts it “we either see or sense some greatness of mind or vigor of spirit or sweetness of temperament that charm us or commend our love. If our understanding rather than sight that directs our affections, then certainly the perfections of the divine nature (traces of which we cannot help but identify in everything we see) would not fail to capture our hearts if only we would give them serious consideration.”

He goes on to say in his book “The life of God in the soul of man” that “Should we not be infinitely more invigorated by thinking of the almighty wisdom and goodness that fill the universe and are displayed in every aspect of creation? Shall the same Providence that established the created order and keeps the world from chaos and ruin not stir our minds to have an interest and desire for him-much more so than the same qualities that we meet in our fellow creatures? Shall we admire the fragmented images of a stained, imperfect picture yet never allow ourselves to be affected by the vision of the original beauty?! This would amount to inexplicable stupidity and blindness!

Whatever we find lovely in a friend or in a saint ought not to preoccupy us but rather elevate our affection. We should convince ourselves that there is so much sweetness in a drop that there must be infinitely more in the fountain. If there is so much splendor in a ray, what must the sun be like in all its glory?

We cannot open our eyes without beholding some evidence of his handiwork and glory. Let us therefore endeavor to lift our minds up to the clearest possible understanding of the divine nature. Let us consider all that his works declare or that his word reveals of him to us. Let us reflect upon Christ as we find him described in the Gospels. And when we have formed in our minds the clearest notion that we can have of God’s being, infinite in power, in wisdom, and in goodness, the author and fountain of all perfection, let us fix the eyes of our souls upon him so that what we see inwardly may affect our hearts. And while we are musing thus, let the holy fire burn within us. To have the love of one who is altogether lovely, to know that the glorious majesty of heaven has regard for us- it should astonish us. It should overwhelm our spirits and melt our hearts and kindle a flame in our whole soul.”


Lord, our Lord,
How majestic is Your name in all the earth,
You who have [a]displayed Your splendor above the heavens!
From the mouths of infants and nursing babies You have established [b]strength
Because of Your enemies,
To do away with the enemy and the revengeful.

When I [c]consider Your heavens, the work of Your fingers,
The moon and the stars, which You have set in place;
What is man that You think of him,
And a son of man that You are concerned about him?
Yet You have made him a little lower than [d]God,
And You crown him with glory and majesty!
You have him rule over the works of Your hands;
You have put everything under his feet,
All sheep and oxen,
And also the animals of the field,
The birds of the sky, and the fish of the sea,
Whatever passes through the paths of the seas.

Lord, our Lord,
How majestic is Your name in all the earth!

The Christian life is a perpetual fast

I recently finished reading “The doctrine of repentance” by Thomas Watson. Probably one of the greatest books I’ve ever read. At one point when talking about true repentance and a turning away from sin he says this “The very day a Christian turns from sin he must enjoin himself a perpetual fast. The eye must fast from impure glances. The ear must fast from hearing slanders. The tongue must fast from oaths. The hand must fast from bribes. The feet must fast from the path of the harlot. And the soul must fast from the love of wickedness.” To take that a step further I’d venture to say the soul must fast from many worldly enjoyments. Christ himself was our example and he neglected such worldly enjoyments and was described as “a man of sorrows, acquainted with grief.”

There must be a fast from sensuality and things that our flesh desires. If I had to take you to one verse that makes this clear, it’d be this one-

“But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh in regard to its lusts.”
Romans 13:14

Now you may be thinking this sounds hard and miserable, would God want me to be unhappy? The Christian life is hard. Very hard. The Scripture describes it that way. In Luke 13:24 we are told to “strive to enter the narrow gate.” That word “strive” in the Greek literally means “agonize, to fight, to struggle with difficulty.” Wow. This is Christianity. But as Thomas Watson says “what is a little mourning and suffering while on earth when we get to enjoy eternity in heaven?”

We so easily get entangled in ourselves and selfish desires, and in reality, as Thomas Watson puts it best “we mingle sin in all we do.”

We must be fervent in our repentance and our fasting towards what our flesh desires. We must continually separate ourselves from the culture and its ways. Constantly refocus our minds on heaven and eternity. It is a constant battle to take our thoughts captive and crucify our selfishness. We must fight, fast, battle until the day we die. This is the Christian life..press on until the Lord calls you home!

“but I discipline my body and make it my slave, so that, after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified.”

1 Corinthians 9:27

Everyone is a narcissist

For some reason in 2024, the word “narcissist” gets thrown around a lot. I’ve clicked on various YouTube videos detailing “how to spot a narcissist” and “ways that Christians should respond to “narcissists.” Articles about dealing with them show up in my feed regularly. The definition of a narcissist is this- “self centered, vain, selfish, has an excessive self interest, has an excessive preoccupation with oneself and one’s own needs. They need admiration, attention, and approval from others.” Now based on Scripture and the doctrine of total depravity, I would venture to say that everyone of us displays some of these traits to a certain degree. The only reason some display less of them and not to the extent of some who lack empathy is due to the amount of God’s restraining grace. He allows some to fully indulge their self interests at the cost of others and their well being. The end of this self serving is seen on many of the murder mysteries I watch. A man has an affair with a woman and kills the spouse to be with her. The ultimate selfish act is carried out. Taking someone’s very life to serve your own selfish desires.

You may say “hold up! You’re going too far by labeling everyone a narcissist.” Let’s look at some Scripture and see where I get this idea and also learn how to fight these selfish tendencies.

The Scripture is replete with passages detailing men and their selfish tendencies. Look at this passage for example-

2 Timothy 3:2

“For people will be zlovers of self, alovers of money, bproud, barrogant, abusive, bdisobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy,”

Notice that first part right off the bat we are told that men will be “lovers of self.” If you go to any therapist around and tell them you are a “lover of self” they would diagnose you with “classic narcissistic personality disorder.”And then in the book of James we are told what the very start of evil is-

“ For where jealousy and [a]selfish ambition exist, [b]there is disorder and every evil thing.” James 3:16

Wow. Selfish ambition leads to very evil thing. Lying (to protect oneself and one’s interests) adultery (to gratify one’s own selfish sexual desires) theft (to gratify one’s selfish desires for material things) and even murder (selfishness to an extent you would kill) How much wisdom is in that passage in teaching us the danger of selfish desires!

And if you aren’t convinced yet, here’s a passage where Paul lamenting the nature of men and desiring Timothy to be present-

“ But I hope, [a]in the Lord Jesus, to send Timothy to you shortly, so that I also may be encouraged when I learn of your condition.20 For I have no one else of kindred spirit who will genuinely be concerned for your welfare.21 For they all seek after their own interests, not those of Christ Jesus.” Philippians 2:19-21

We all have a tendency to be devoted to our own purposes and serve our own selfish interests. Even on days when I find myself rushing through the grocery store hoping I don’t run into anyone I have to speak to demonstrates my own selfishness. I don’t want to put in the effort to be friendly and maybe even share the gospel with those around me because I’m too into myself and my own needs. The Lord convicts me of this regularly! Psychologists tell us that narcissistic personality disorder is a lifelong condition. While I agree with it being something we have to battle all our lives, it’s not a “disorder.” It is a result of the fall and our sin nature. We don’t need to love ourselves more as the culture would tell us. The problem all starts with “self-love.” We love ourselves too much. I’m convinced on every divorce paper where it’s written “irreconcilable differences” it needs to be crossed out and simply written in the blank “I’m selfish.” The only way to overcome our selfish tendencies is through regeneration, being born again. Christ must give us a new nature. And even after we are given that new nature, the old, selfish nature is still ready to rear its ugly head at any moment. Daily being in the Scripture and renewing our minds is the only way to defeat this narcissistic tendencies. Verses such as Philippians 2:3-4 remind us how to live-

“Do nothing [a]from [b]selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility consider one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.”

We must die to our self and our selfish tendencies. This is the way of Christ. We don’t have the strength in and of ourselves to do this. Christ must enable us to live this way. This “self love” instead becomes a “self death.”

“And He summoned the crowd together with His disciples, and said to them, “If anyone wants to come after Me, he must deny himself, take up his cross, and follow Me.” Mark 8:34

How diametrically opposed to the world is the teaching of Christ! So the next time you hear the word “Narcissist” remember we are all selfish and focused on self and we must fight these tendencies in order to bring glory to Christ and live holy lives. Our ultimate example was Christ and we are told this-

“ Do nothing [a]from [b]selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility consider one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. Have this attitude [c]in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who, as He already existed in the form of God, did not consider equality with God something to be [d]grasped, but [e]emptied Himself by taking the form of a bond-servant and [f]being born in the likeness of men. And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death: death [g]on a cross.”

Philippians 2:3-8





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