Did the title get your attention? This may be a touchy subject but I’m willing to broach it. I have talked to way too many women who have either forced their husbands to get a vasectomy or have made them feel guilty for not getting one. I want to briefly discuss this in the following blog.
So, the argument goes like this ”Babe, you should get a vasectomy since we are done having kids and it is easier for the man to get snipped than for the woman to have her tubes tied.” The husband then explains how he doesn’t want anyone snipping on his manhood. The wife grows angry that he won’t comply and tells him he is being selfish and the husband sheepishly complies and makes the appointment. There are many things wrong with this scenario.
First, children are a blessing from the Lord.
“Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward.” Psalm 127:3
What is your motivation for cutting off these blessings? Have you prayed through this? As Voddie Baucham puts it, ”We don’t tell God to stop blessing us in our finances, or our friends, or businesses so why are we so quick to try to shut off His blessings in the area of children?” This is something that should be prayed through and the decision made together as husband and wife.
Secondly, there are risks with a vasectomy. Studies show men in their older age are more likely to have prostate problems if they have had a vasectomy. No such risk applies for women who have had their tubes tied. I’ve even read studies of men having more mental issues down the road after going through a vasectomy. “The evidence suggests that the process may also be associated with by psychological complications, including depression, irritability and somatic symptoms15.” These side effects should be considered. And to be honest, men just don’t want their manhood being cut on. And I can’t blame them one bit. See this article for more info regarding the risks- https://www.pop.org/problems-side-effects-men-vasectomy/
Third, who is really leading the family if your husband gets ”forced” into having one? The Scripture is clear on man being the head of a woman.
But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God. 1 Corinthians 11:3
Are you really going to assume it’s honoring to the Lord to guilt trip your husband into something he doesn’t want to do? Certainly this is one of the most important decisions you will make as a couple and your husband should lead the way, not you. I assure you, if your husband goes to get a vasectomy because you ”made him” then the surgery is not what affected his ”manhood” but is indicative of his inability to lead by letting you make the decisions. I think it is harder to respect a man who won’t put his foot down when we try to lead with our emotions and make the decisions. My husband straight out of the gate told me ”I won’t get one and you won’t make me get one.” I respect him for that. It would be sinful of me to try to manipulate him or force him in any way after he made it clear how he feels about the procedure.
I hope that you will consider these points I’ve made regarding making the choice about child bearing and vasectomies. Pray through this. Don’t do something you will regret by closing the door on the blessing of more children. Let your husband lead the way as far as making the decisions in this area. May Christ be glorified through your submission!
“22 (AV)Wives, (AW)subject yourselves to your own husbands, (AX)as to the Lord. 23 For (AY)the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the (AZ)head of the church, He Himself (BA)being the Savior of the body. 24 But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.” Ephesians 5:22-24